In the essay, the writer did well with their use of sources to back up what they were trying to portray. There were many strong quotes integrated into the essay. Something that definitely needs to improve is the organization of their ideas. The writer talks about death of lobsters, death of humans, household pets, and then lobsters again. I also had a hard time understanding what the writer was claiming. Their introduction was disorganized, and jumped around from morals, to sources, to death, and then ethics. The writer’s claim isn’t stated until you reach the conclusion. This made it very difficult to understand the purpose of the paper. Another thing I noticed was that the writer had a difficult time connecting their paragraphs with transition sentences. It was often very choppy and jumped from one idea to another. I think it would be extremely helpful to have the writer create an outline in order to reorganize the essay. It would be helpful to group like topics, as well as to introduce the thesis sooner in the essay so that the reader can understand the writer’s point of the essay. This might also help with creating transition sentences and helping with the overall flow of the paper.
Things to talk about:
- writing and communications are the most requested job requirements across nearly every industry, even fields such as information technology and engineering.
- 10,000 hours theory — that it takes roughly that amount of practice to achieve mastery in any field – 416 days which is over a year
- Plungers are those who start writing before they know what they write. Planners start writing only when they know what to write.
