Changes to the Introduction:
In my original introduction, I did not have an opening sentence. I jumped straight into my thesis, and that was all that I wrote. In my new introduction, I included an introduction sentence, as well as more introduction on what my paper was going to be about. I also introduced all of the sources I planned on using.
Changes to the Evidence and Explanation:
I only stuck with one idea from my rough draft. That was the idea of an identity change throughout the science Discourse. In the final draft, I explained that idea, and then connected it to two other ideas which overall helped the argument of my paper. Instead of jumbled ideas, my final draft is a flow of connecting ideas. I also used a different quote for the start of my practice paragraph. This reflected my claim a little better, and ultimately made my ideas easier to understand.
Changes to Organization:
I moved my the identity change paragraph from the middle of the paper, to the beginning to set up the rest of my paper. Aside from that, much of my rough draft was edited out, so I did not have to reorganize much.
New Paragraphs:
Most of my final draft consists of new paragraphs. I added a completed conclusion, as well as a completed introduction. I added more body paragraphs to connect my ideas and support my claim. I added two body paragraphs connecting the identity and practice building blocks, and elaborating that even further to connect those to the materials and methods block. These connecting paragraphs supported my claim and made it easier for the reader to understand what I was attempting to claim, rather than the rough draft that threw a ton of information at the reader without explaining them.
